I have been really terrible about keeping up with this this summer. It really has been a whirlwind contract, even though I was here for three months, it went by so quickly.
We didn’t really do much special my last week, aside from my buying a really nice pendant for myself in Juneau. Skagway was a lazy day full of browsing around stores and sitting in the sun. I worked the afternoon shift in Ketchikan, which gave me no time at all to get off.
Having spent a summer in Alaska, I guess I can see how other youth staff can get tired of it and not want to spend a second more there than they have to. Yes, it’s rainy a lot, and cold (definitely a major negative, especially for me), and it’s repetitive. But, there is just something about it. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because it’s me, and I use my imagination for things to do while out and about (how many people find a playground a swing for half an hour just because it’s sunny?), and because I see the beauty in God’s creation regardless of the weather. I am absolutely pleased that I was given the opportunity to spend this summer here. I needed that somewhat, away from the flurry of ports and big cities in Europe, and the overcrowded towns in the Caribbean. It really did allow me to connect more with Creation and my Creator, because, despite all my protests, I had been feeling like I was starting to take it all for granted.
I have met some amazing people this contract, a lot of people that have helped me in some way or another. Some I wish I had been able to get to know better for longer, and others I admit, I was okay with knowing as little as I did. Some taught me what I want to improve on in myself, others showed me exactly what I don’t want to be like and why. It’s made me realize that I am a combination of the people I’ve known and the places I’ve been. Everything up to now has influenced my life in some way or another, positive or negative. And I am so very thankful for that.
As frustrating as my job is at times: being away from family (including pets), the politics of living with the people you work with, the sometimes (in my mind) unnecessary regulations we have to abide by on the ship, the short-lived friendships, the annoyances of embarking/disembarking/hotel limbo. I really do love it. I may complain, I may rant, I may talk sometimes like it isn’t worth it; but in the end, I really do love it, and sometimes just need time to sit back and think over what makes it worth it. Sometimes it just takes one person to question me for me to realize that I’m being stupid and negative.
Here I kindly ask, if you can tell I’m in a frustrated mood (I was earlier this morning, which is why I’m thinking about it so much right now), let me rant for a short time to get it out of my system, then, please, STOP me! Otherwise, I’ll just talk myself into getting more upset, and I regret wasting all that energy later. I don’t like it.
Anyway, I really am blessed with the people in my life to help me stay collected, calm, and generally me. Aside from my frustrations this morning, in the past week, I have felt more blessed than I have in a while (part of why I made the big purchase I did in Juneau). I found a job that is absolutely perfect for me and that I love, I get to travel the world for free, I get to meet some amazing people from all over the world, I have opportunities to do things that some other people would never consider or never have a chance to do. I have the best family anyone could ask for, they’re supportive in my choices, they’re encouraging to me on those internally rainy days, they’re there for me whatever happens, they are not resentful when I (unintentionally) ignore them for days at a time. They take care of me when I’m home, take care of stuff for me when I’m not home, make sure I keep on top of stuff when I am and when I’m not at home, pick me up from and take me to the airport at all times of the day, never consciously ignore my calls no matter the time of night when I forget the time difference. They record TV shows for me while I’m gone, send me presents to open on Christmas even after we celebrated before I went away, they are always there when I finally land after a long day(s) of flying after months at sea, and understand when all I want to do is hug them, then crash into bed. They look out for each other so I don’t have to worry (too much) about them while I am gone, and keep me updated on almost everything that happens back home.
I can not say just how much they mean to me.
I have the greatest friends as well, whether it be ship friends, college friends, or just old friends. There are some that I can tell absolutely anything do, my most random thoughts, and know that they will not judge me. Others I can go for months without responding to, but when we do talk again, it’s like no time as passed. Some know exactly what questions to ask about my life, while others are just content to let me talk myself out. They keep me down-to-earth, level-headed, and hold me accountable when it’s necessary.
I just wanted to let everyone know that I am making a new goal, a conscious decision to not take the places and people in my life for granted, to thank God every day for the new and old people and experiences I encounter at every point in my life.
I think it may be time for me to start a new blog. I need a new focus, not just my daily life (which, to me can sometimes get so repetitive, even in new ports and countries and all that).
No comments:
Post a Comment